Monthly Archives: April 2014

Beyond rude and into sloppy!

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Getting straight, honest, and clear about the conversations we engage into.

I am pretty clear it is rude and sloppy. Face-to-face or virtually.

You offer a conversation. Someone responds positively. You respond in turn. Then silence. You wait. Maybe try again, worried you weren’t heard; worried the other person is beginning to think you are rude. Again, nothing.

This is an unlikely face-to-face interaction. But why is it so common in the virtual business world?

What is going on when people walk away from a social media or email conversation they have seemingly encouraged? “Thanks for this. Interesting idea/product/blog/point of view. Let’s talk more. Yes, let’s stay in touch over this.” You follow up. Silence.

I am pretty much past worrying, at a personal level, about getting a stiff ignoring. Almost. It still rankles of course. But why are “dead-enders” wasting my time and theirs?

I am genuinely curious about these stalled engagements. What is going on? Where does the initial interest and energy go? Is it a courage thing? Cold-feet around a new relationship, idea etc. Is it an energy thing? “Must get back to the comfort of always doing what I have always done.”

And what about good manners? “Thanks but I need to put this on the back-burner”, or “I have other priorities that demand my attention right now”. How much does a quick reply like that cost?

If we can’t be straight and honest, or find the energy and focus to follow-through, what does this say more widely about the quality of our working and other relationships?

If we just accept that “this is the way it is these days” we are copping out. It is beyond rudeness. It is sloppy and ultimately bad business. I am not promoting the “fluffiness” and niceness of good manners; I am promoting being straight, honest, and clear about what we do with the conversations we engage into. It’s a maturity thing. It is also an effectiveness thing.

So, what could be different right now in the teams and organisations you work in with a bit more social honesty and maturity?

Dave Stewart
The Fresh Air Learning Company

 

Getting straight, honest, and clear about the conversations we engage into. I am pretty clear it is …

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Who gives a blog?

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I do. As do others it seems. Let me blog my thoughts on this.

My mentor said I should blog. Establish a tempo of activity and interesting content, and potential clients will find me.

“Tempo” and “interesting”! How would I achieve this?

I was in the wrong head-space from the start. It was as if I was unconsciously carrying an expectation of externally judged excellence. And a fear of falling short. A limiting throwback to school perhaps.

The breakthrough came when I started to frame blogging as an exercise in getting clear about my point of view, or starting a virtual discussion about something I was curious about.

It was about thinking and learning through engagement with myself and with others “out there”. A learning process. Brought to life through the act of writing.

And the more I blog so the back-catalogue grows. A resource to be mined for thoughts on various subjects and themes. A body of evidence to witness my credibility and curiosity in chosen fields. A series of conversations which give shape to my thinking and my business.

And also an attractor. Just as my mentor said. Posting my blogs on Twitter and various LinkedIn groups, I am reaching people who want to engage. Some with the topic, and some with my business. Ultimately blogging is helping me engage into the world of real, physical face-to-face meetings.

So, who gives a blog?

I do. What about you?

Dave Stewart

The Fresh Air Learning Company

I do. As do others it seems. Let me blog my thoughts on this. My mentor said …